Sunday, 12 April 2015

(20/2) Sample Body Paragraph #2: (High)

Sample Body Paragraph #2 PT (HIGH): Gentle Article.

Gentle goes on to assert that society needs to protect children from paedophiles. Gentle opens by identifying herself as a mother who wants her ‘children to feel safe when out in public.’ By identifying herself as a ‘mother,’ and thus as having a vested interest in the issue, Gentle is able to establish credibility and authority in her statement that the public should take a holistic approach to ‘protecting our children from pedophiles. Gentle continues by citing her personal experience of being a ‘victim’ of a pedophile. The suggestion that the ‘pain and suffering’ of the ‘victim’ endures for ‘life’ adds extra weight to the notion that pedophiles are a series threat to the innocence and vulnerability of our children. This anecdote highlights the ramifications pedophiles can have on victims lives and encouraging parents to project themselves into the issue further generating sympathy for victims of pedophilia who have to live in fear their entire lives. Gentle supplements this anecdote with the logical suggestion that a holistic approach needs to be taken to protect our children from pedophiles. By juxtaposing the overt emotions offered by the anecdote against the calm logic of her suggestion that a register should function alongside ‘harsher penalties, stronger sentencing and rehabilitation,’ Gentle is able infer that her argument is well rounded and considered.

 

Bold: Outlines the supporting argument- the author makes the argument that society needs to do more to protect children from sex offenders.

The focus here is on the vulnerability of the children and the predatory nature of the paedophile, particularly through playing on the victim/predator duality and emphasizing the need for society to play an active role in protection.

 

Blue: It is suggested that the author opens by emphasizing her credibility.

 She establishes that she has a vested interest in the issue and as a mother has the authority to speak on behalf of all mothers. This credibility is important because it adds credence to her appeal that more needs to be done to protect children. Particularly when establishing an argument that appeals to or is critical of society validation and credibility are extremely important.

 

Green: Author further establishes her credibility by explaining a personal experience.

            By explaining that she is a victim of a sexual attack herself she further validates her credibility on the issue and generates sympathy on behalf of the reader. In emphasizing the impact sexual offenders can have on victims the author is able draw on the enormity of the issue and the need for action to be taken. A body paragraph could go further by explaining the importance in developing a legitimacy for the validation of the author’s argument.

 

Red: the author employs logical language and maintains a sense of order.

Despite the emotional nature of the issue the author is able to maintain a rational tone through the use of rational language.   

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